Leadership
by ali was already taken
Summary: finished...sort of Just because you're the leader doesn't mean that you get everything that you want... [rated for language] yeah, i had to change the genre...this is such a romance that im ashamed of myself!...well...almost... sheepish grin
1. Scène d'introduction

AN: Essayons-nous encore une fois - I'm so so so sorry about the New Yawk accent, I've decided that it's really a hopeless case and I'm just not gonna try anymore...Mais bien. You can imagine it, right??... Not as sappy as my last long one, I hope. :)  
  
*insert standard disclaimer here*  
  
********  
  
  
  
  
There was sadness in his eyes as he looked out across the water. His hands were white, his nails digging into his arms. The setting sun hit his face just so and as the wind ruffled his dark blond hair, his eyes glistened with thousands of unshed tears.   
  
Such is the perfect picture of leadership.  
  
Heartbreak.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hesitant footsteps made the docks creak under him and he leapt to his feet. Whirling around, one would never guess that he had been surprised. His cold eyes gleamed in a face of stone. She almost recoiled at the self-hatred apparent there.   
  
Realizing who it was his clenched fists relaxed and his shoulders fell in - defeat? Regret? There were so many emotions swirling suddenly across his face and she hardly knew who she was staring at.   
  
  
Spot Conlon never looks like this.  
  
  
"Whaddya want, Key?" he growled. Staring at the red marks on his arms, she gave no response.   
  
"My face is up here."  
  
She reluctantly raised her eyes to his. His smirk was deceiving; his eyes were still brimming with hostility.   
  
"What, Key?" his voice matched his expression, wrapped in self-confidence, under laid with malice.   
  
"I was just...I was just wondering if you were okay. Lock said that you've been here all day and I just thought..." her burst of confidence failed as her eyes caught his. He was famous for many things, but intimidation was his specialty. The anger in his eyes hit her like a slap in the face.   
  
"You just thought that you'd tear yourself away from his side and come and check up on me?" He raised and eyebrow, but it did nothing to dispel the fury in his tone.   
  
She cast her eyes downwards again; "I was worried about you."  
  
He gave a derisive laugh. "Right. You were worried about me."  
  
Key's head snapped up and her eyes flashed with sudden anger.   
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Don't you mean that Lock was worried about me, and you just wanted to get on his good side?" he responded dryly.   
  
Her eyes narrowed.  
  
"You know, I'm allowed to care about you too! I don't do everything just 'cause - "  
  
"'Cause you're in love with Lock?"  
  
Her face reddened.  
  
"Shut up! I am not!"  
  
Laughing, Spot turned away so that she couldn't see the hurt in his eyes.   
  
"Yeah, right. That's the biggest lie you've ever told me, Key."  
  
"I'm not in love with - "  
  
"Shut up, Key. I've seen the way you look at him. The way you hang off his every word?" he was facing her now, his eyes locked on hers.   
  
"The way your face lights up when he walks into a room. The way he makes you laugh." Spot advanced, backing her up against a pillar, towering over her with an indistinguishable look in his eyes.   
  
"I've seen you with him, Key. You aren't exactly subtle. I've seen the way you look at him."  
  
He was so close to her now that she could feel his breath on her cheek. His eyes, inches above hers were shining with - something as he stared into her face.   
  
... Is he going to...?  
  
He suddenly pulled away, turning back out to the water.   
  
"And I've seen the way he looks at you."  
  
"Wha - what?" Key whispered.  
  
"He's in love with you, you know." He closed his eyes as he spoke the words that ruined him. "He just hasn't realized it yet."  
  
Key was frozen in place. Her heart leaped and yet - there was so much sadness in his voice.   
  
"Key?" his voice was husky, suddenly.  
  
"Yeah?" she could barely speak, there were so many thoughts swirling around in her head.  
  
"Get out of here."  
  
"But- "  
  
"Key, just fucking listen for once! Go. Lock is waiting."  
  
Her head sprang back as if she had been hit and her eyes hardened.   
  
"Fuck you. You think you know what I want? You don't know anything! You call yourself my goddamn best friend and then you act like such an unbelievable bastard that I can barely breathe around you. Lock's my best friend, not my goddamn love interest! I -"  
  
He whirled around and grabbed her arm, clamping a hand over her mouth in the process.  
  
"Key, I'm not stupid. And I'm not fucking blind either. So get out of here, go find your fucking boyfriend and don't ever come back here pretending to care about me." The malice was back in his voice and his eyes were like ice as they bored into her. Her eyes slowly filled with tears and he released her roughly, pushing her back towards the land.   
  
She stumbled and then drew herself back up, tears coursing down her cheeks.   
  
"I do care about you, you bastard. More than you'll ever know." She turned and walked away, the air rich with her sobs.  
  
  
  
A lonely tear glistened as it made its' way slowly down his cheek. You'd think that knowing that she was hurting too would make him feel better - but somehow, it only made things worse.   
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Reviews on this one will be SO appreciated, because I really don't have much of an idea as to where the hell this one is headed...thankie :) 


	2. Scène deux

Oh my goodness I got reviews... I really am a review slut now! BUTTERFLY LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!!!! Lol nevermind its all good... aaaanyways -  
  
Shorty Carter - ack ack ack *blushes* thank you so much for all the praise! It means so much to me when someone likes my stuff...*wipes away a tear* lol...anyway, yea, sure, put this up on your website... I just hope that I can figure out where the hell its going and therefore finish it!! ACK! Thank you for reviewing :)  
  
Kathryn Mason-Sykes - oh dearie me... lol I know what you mean about the children censorship *shakes fist at younger siblings* oh dear... anyway - I still really dunno where this is going, but I hope this chapter is decent :) it isn't as good as the last one - that one I love to pieces *gets out scotch tape* - but I think its okay. Yay for skipping class to write newsie fan-fic! Somehow, sitting in Starbucks instead of American History inspires me. If it sucks, blame it on the evil corporations! Lol...thank you for reviewing!  
  
Butterfly - you know, until I read your review it hadn't even occurred to me that this could be a stand alone... you have a marvelous point there dearie. But the inspiration struck me as to how to continue this, so I figured why not? The worst that could happen is that I totally screw up my fic and Butterfly disowns me and I end up deleting everything but the first chapter... we shall see. I ADORE writing one-shots but jeebus I gotta write something real once in a while, don't I? Oh dear. I hope this one works... lol wouldn't it be nice if Spot was real though?? *drifts off and starts daydreaming* oh, SO goigeous... anyway - don't hate me for continuing this. I need your input!!!! :)  
  
  
Et ca commence encore...  
  
*****  
  
  
  
  
  
The bunkroom door slammed open and the newsies that littered the room jumped visibly. Key stormed into the room, angrily scrubbing the tear tracks off her face with one hand even as more flowed out of her eyes. Her face was cloudy and her fists were clenched as she marched past the others without even seeing them. Finally reaching her bunk, she collapsed on it, head in hands.  
  
Watching Key with wide eyes, Grubbs nudged the blond boy beside him.  
  
"Uh, Lock...?"  
  
He nodded and stood up. "Yeah, I got her."  
  
Making his way cautiously over to the thunderstorm that was his best friend, he eased himself down beside her.   
  
"Heya, Key." He murmured softly, expecting little more than a growl in response. His face was therefore the picture of surprise when she practically launched herself into his arms, burying her face in his neck and soaking his shirt with her tears.   
  
Recovering quickly, he held her close, rubbing her back and attempting to soothe her sobs.  
  
"Shhh, shhhh. Key, it'll be okay. Just calm down."  
  
As her tears quieted, he asked, "What happened?"  
  
He got nothing more than a mumble in response.   
  
"What? - Key, lemme go and tell me what happened."  
  
She reluctantly detached herself from him.  
  
"It's just Spot being - well, himself, I guess."  
  
"A fully certified asshole?" grinned Lock.  
  
Key smiled briefly, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Yeah."  
Throwing an arm across her shoulders, Lock sighed.   
  
"What did Conlon do this time?"  
  
"Just - I dunno. Not much, really, I dunno why I let it get to me so much. He's just being...argh!"   
Seeing tears threatening in her eyes again, Lock grabbed her chin and made her look at him.   
  
"Key, it's okay that you're angry - but what did he say? You aren't usually this emotional after talking to Mr. High and Mighty."  
  
Closing her eyes, she shook her head as she remembered the conversation.   
  
"He was just so angry, you know? I didn't even say anything - I just asked if he was okay 'cause you told me that he had been out there all day, an' he just went crazy on me! He started saying that I was only there 'cause you told me to be and that I wasn't allowed to "pretend" to care about him an' ... Jesus." A tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away angrily.  
  
"I don't know why I care so much - we've had bigger fights before and I haven't given a damn. But this time he seemed so...betrayed. Heartbroken. I dunno - he just wasn't himself, you know? He seemed so alone."  
  
Locks' eyes were surprisingly vacant as she turned to him again. Her eyebrows furrowed immediately in anger.   
  
"Lock, aren't you fucking listening to me?!"  
  
He jumped and suddenly his hand was on her cheek.  
  
"Shit, sorry Key. It's just..." his eyes fell to her lips and he trailed off. "It's just..."  
  
All of a sudden, his lips were pressed up against hers and Key almost died of shock.   
  
Her breath mingled with his and she became lightheaded as his lips tangled with hers. This is what I've been waiting for... As they lost themselves in the emotions swirling out of each other, neither took any notice of the tears that began to cascade down her cheeks once more.   
  
Lock finally pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. At his whispered confession, "I think I'm in love with you", her heart swelled.   
  
And yet - there was a piece missing. She had left it behind with the boy on the docks who was trying his hardest not to break down.   
  
  
Because leaders don't cry.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Okay, I'm beginning to get a vague idea about where this is going... we shall see. Reviews are as appreciated as ever, as I still dunno if I should keep going with this! Did I ruin it by adding another chapter? Should I just delete this and hide under my bed and cry? Lemme know... :) *huggles for everyone* 


	3. Scène trois

Oh mon dieu how I love the reviews!! *does happy dance*   
  
Raeghann - you know, its so funny that you mention that about my one-shots - cause I actually had you in mind when I wrote this one! One-shots are all wonderful and fun and all but ack I know what you mean about them being painful! ACK! lol ... anyway THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reviewing... your Spot inspires me more and more to become a better writer with every update... gosh I love your story! oh dear, have I turned you into a hopeless romantic too?? lol welcome to the club, ma cherie. Oh there will be much bouncing of ideas... thank you again so very much :)   
  
Shorty Carter - aw im so glad that this speaks to you! ack! Your reviews make me smile - thank you so much for enjoying my story!!!!!! yaaaaay!!!!!   
  
Dreamer - thank you so much for reviewing! I hope this story doesn't disappoint...I hate it when stories start out marvelously and then kind of fail at the end... im gonna try my hardest to make sure that that doesn't happen with this one. Merci bien :)  
  
  
***********  
  
  
  
The sky was grey as she walked down the steps of the Lodging house, but for Key the birds were singing, the sun was shining and it was the most beautiful day in the history of time.   
  
He loves me.  
  
The shining light in her eyes dimmed, however, as she caught sight of the figure leaning up against the gate of the distribution office. He looked as if he hadn't slept all night - his shirt was more rumpled than usual and his hands were shaking as they fingered his slingshot. She stopped dead in her tracks, not wanting to catch his attention but having no where else to go. He raised his head suddenly and his pale eyes caught hers.  
  
Shit.  
  
His lanky frame unfolded as he pushed himself off the gate, standing uneasily, his eyes still locked on hers.   
  
He's waiting for me.   
  
Sighing, she made her way over to him.   
  
"Whaddya want, Spot?"  
  
"Heya, Key." His voice was softer than usual, almost a whisper. Her only response was to raise a skeptical eyebrow.  
  
"Key, I - " he trailed off.   
  
"What? If you're gonna say something, Spot, just fucking spit it out, okay? 'Cause I don't got all day to waste on you." As soon as she said it, she regretted it. His eyes went grey as he tried to control the anger building there.   
  
"Key, I was gonna apologize."  
  
Her frown disappeared and she smirked at him; "You were gonna apologize? You?? ... who are you and what have you done with Spot Conlon?!"  
  
He rolled his eyes - "Hey, I'm allowed to say sorry, you know."  
  
She stepped back as he smiled at her, all traces of her smirk gone. With her arms folded across her chest, her posture was definitely hostile.   
  
"So get on with it."  
  
Refusing to meet her eyes, he hung his head and mumbled "I'm sorry."  
  
Cupping a hand behind her ear, she feigned hearing difficulties - "What was that?"  
  
Sighing with frustration, he met her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, Key. I shouldn't have said any of that stuff. I dunno why I did. I was just...I dunno. I'm just sorry, I guess."  
  
She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was sincere. Reaching out a hand to him, she said,  
"It's okay. We all have bad days sometimes...you just have 'em more than most people do."  
  
Grinning and shaking his head, he pulled her into his arms.  
  
"Shut up, Key."  
  
Enjoying the feeling of her body against his, he added, "I dunno why I said all that stuff about Lock either...I was just being dumb."  
  
Uh-oh.  
  
Key pulled her head out from underneath his chin to look into his face.  
  
"Spot, about that... I - "  
  
"Hey, Conlon, get yer paws off my girl!"   
  
Spot dropped her as if he had been burned at the sound of Lock's voice. He came up beside Key and threw an arm across her shoulders.   
  
"Heya, Key." As he kissed her on the forehead, he missed the look of absolute betrayal that crossed Spot's face.   
  
There was silence for a few minutes as Key and Spot locked eyes. Finally tearing his gaze away from hers, he smirked at Lock and said,   
  
"So she's finally your whore, eh?"  
  
The next sound was the angry crunch of Lock's fist meeting Spot's jaw. Their leader drew himself back up, blood running out of the corner of his mouth, and smirked again. Glancing Key up and down suggestively, he murmured, "See ya 'round", and Key actually had to hold Lock back. Spot turned and sauntered away down the street, his hair gleaming in the half-light of morning.   
  
Gathering her into his chest in an action of unnecessary comfort, Lock wondered,  
  
"What the fuck was that about?"  
  
This time, Key couldn't cry - she understood all too well for that.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN : *does review dance (looks somewhat similar to a rain dance)* come on now, review! You know you want to! Feed my starving muses!!! Je vous aime tous :) 


	4. Scène quatre

Candy-canes and supreme amounts of adoration go out to my luvverly reviewers...merci bien :)  
  
Raven's Wing: *cowers* im sooooorrryyy!! ... but hey, great minds think alike, right? (alex, did you just call yourself a great mind?? *sigh*) ...but yea, I know what you mean with having too many ideas! ACK! My problem is that I always have brilliant ideas right before I drift off to sleep and then I forget them come the next morning! ACK! Lol it's always healthy to be controlled by the muses...they're entertaining :) anyway - merci for the praise...key IS a stupid broad, isn't she? Oh dear... spot is always the bestest! SPOTTY BOY MY LOVE!!! Oh dear, ive had too much egg-nog...eep. Thanks again :) -   
  
Rhapsody: oui, oui le francais c'est fantastique! ... lol that's such a lie! But what can I say, I love the language :) aaaaaanyway thank you so much for liking my story!! YAY!!! :)  
  
Raeghann: of COISE I enjoyed the updates! but now I need more more more!!! :) Thank you for reviewing!!! :)  
  
Shorty Carter: yay! Thank you for liking this!!!!! :)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
******   
  
  
  
"EXTRA! EXTRA! Buy 'em here! Mayor's daughter seen out after dark with pirate! (AN: heehee I couldn't resist!) EXTRA!"   
  
The crowd around her kept moving, ignoring her attempts to make a living. Today was not going well. Setting her heavy stack of papers down, she sighed. There wasn't enough change in her pocket to buy herself any lunch and her stomach was complaining. Making her way over to the entrance of a nearby alley, she sat down on a rickety crate and propped her feet up on her papers.  
  
Any minute now the afternoon edition will be out and these'll just be old news.   
  
She shut her eyes and let her head fall back against the cool bricks behind her. Visions of cool-eyed newsboys danced through her head and she let out a frustrated groan.  
  
Why do I let him get to me? He's just a stupid boy...  
  
But that stupid boy is supposed to be your best friend.   
  
Why'd he get so mad, anyway? What the hell does he care if I'm Locks' girl? He's the one who told me to go find him, after all!   
  
...but that's not what he really wanted you to do, and you know it.   
  
"Bastard...I wish he'd just say what he means!" she muttered without opening her eyes.  
  
"Talking to yourself, Key?" an amused voice startled her enough that she fell off the crate.   
  
Great, exactly the person that I'd looooove to see right now...  
  
"Fuck, Spot, don't sneak up on me like that!" she picked herself up off the ground, brushing vainly at the dirt on her pants. Meeting his eyes, she felt her anger disappear as she drowned in their grey-green depths.   
  
"What are you doing here, Spot?"  
  
Without breaking their stare, he smirked at her, "I was looking for Lock. I figured that you and lover boy wouldn't be too far apart."  
  
She closed her eyes again, not wanting to acknowledge the pain in his. "Spot, what the hell is your problem with us? You were the one who told me to be with him!"  
  
He gave a bitter laugh, "You're the one who lied to me."  
  
"What?!"  
  
His eyes darkened, pinning her to her place, and his voice was softly filled with equal parts of anger and anguish.  
  
"You said that you weren't in love with him."  
  
...why does he care?...  
  
"I'm not in love with Lock!!"  
  
Grasping his cane, he pointed it threateningly at her : "Don't lie to me, Key!"  
  
Pushing it out of her face, she stepped right up close to him.  
  
"Spot, see if you can understand me. I'm - not - in - love- with - Lock."  
  
He raised an eyebrow at her.   
  
"Right."   
  
Lowering her eyes, she sighed.  
  
"Jesus...why do you care so much anyway? He's supposed to be your best friend...shouldn't you want him to be happy?"  
  
"You make him happy."  
  
"Well, yeah, I think so...so can't you be happy for us?" His ever-shifting eyes seemed to soften at her words, as if something inside him had broken. He had lost the battle.  
  
"You'd make me happy too."  
  
Surprised, she glanced up at him in shock and realized that his face was mere inches away from hers.  
  
"...What?!"  
  
And just like that, he kissed her. She was flooded suddenly with all the emotions he had been feeling for the past few weeks. The regret, the anger, the jealousy...the love. It was electrifying. She could taste his sorrow and his joy as his lips pressed feverishly against hers. Her knees went weak and goose bumps rose all over her skin.   
  
Why isn't it like this when Lock kisses me?  
  
There were delicious shivers running down her spine and she had to stifle a moan as their tongues tangled together, tasting each others newly awakened passion.  
  
...All this from a first kiss.  
  
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the spell was broken and Spot pulled violently away. Staring at her, her hair wild where his unheeding hands had tangled, her eyes heavy with arousal, her breathing erratic, he realized what he had just done.  
  
As if it suddenly dawned on her as well, her eyes widened. With a horrified gasp, she whirled on her heel and ran, leaving behind her papers, her hat, and her best friend.   
  
Watching her go, he couldn't help but smile through his self-disgust.  
  
  
She kissed me back.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: It's beginning to look a lot like chriiisstmaasss...YAY!!! :) feel like gift-wrapping a review for me, just 'cause 'tis the season to be jolly?   
:) happy happy holidays :) 


	5. Scène cinq

Oh goodness - this has taken sooooooo long to get up here! I'm sorry *cries* don't hate meeeeeeee... love and stale candy-canes go out to all my reviewers:  
  
Rhapsody - oh gosh I love the passion!! :) and I'm glad that you love it too. That chapter was indeed one of my favourites :) oh gosh I love your Spot! Thank you for reviewing! UPDATE DAMMIT!!!   
  
Shorty Carter - oh no! don't be sick!! *insert chicken noodle soup here* feel better, okay? I feel so loved that you reviewed anyway! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! :)  
  
Chelci - I'm too lazy to type out your screen name - its too complicated for my feeble typing skills lol. Aww I'm sorry I made you sad!! *insert kleenex here* thank you so much for the praise tho - it makes me feel so happy, seriously! You're awesome! And oh gosh I love your fic so so so so much - update, okay?? Thank you for reviewing! :)  
  
Raeghann - ack - every time I get a review from you I fall over - your input means so much! YAY! Yeah you really are my favourite person right now...you made it all better! YAY TIMES TWO!!!! So I'm finally updating... here, have a cookie and calm down kiddo! :) *insert cookie here* thank you for reviewing! :)  
  
Vioshine - wow, I love your name! Ack I'm glad that you think she goes against the usual newsgirl stereotype - she's getting a little bit too cry baby ish for my taste. I'm gonna hafta work on that... everything IS all muddled, mostly because I'm muddled! Uh-oh...yeah, I have no idea where this is going... anyway, thank you for reviewing! :)  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
There were buildings flying past her as she ran. Faces, thousands of faces, all blurred together. There was wetness on her cheeks - those can't be tears. I don't deserve to be crying. Her ears were filled with the gasps of her breathing, the shuddering, choking sobs that she tried to suppress as she fled the scene of her crime.   
  
I kissed him back.  
  
I kissed him back.   
  
The truth echoed in her head as she flew onto the Brooklyn Bridge, unheeding of the dangerous traffic. Crashing finally into a railing, she lost control and her shame took over her body. Dry, heaving sobs paralyzed her there, staring out over the water with eyes so full of heartbreak that they seemed to change colour.   
  
Why did I just do that??  
  
I just cheated on Lock with his best friend.  
  
With my best friend.  
  
As she sank slowly to the ground, she buried her face in her arms. The tears had stopped long ago. She didn't deserve to cry. Her fingers clutched at her namesake hanging around her neck and suddenly she was flooded with memories.   
  
  
  
*******  
  
  
  
"Surrenda!!" a small boy of about ten brandished a stick, waving it at his adversaries.   
  
"Nevah, Spot!" countered a taller boy, and the blond child beside him backed him up; "Yeah! Nevah!"  
  
"Well then, prepare ta - "  
  
"DIE!" a new voice was tossed into the mix, and in a blurred flash of arms and legs, Spot was thrown to the ground.   
  
Pushing her untidy brown locks out of her face with dirty hands, Eliza sat up proudly.   
  
"Ha. Take that, Mr. Pirate or whatever you are! I'se a better pirate than you are!"   
  
Shoving her off him angrily, Spot stood up, glaring.   
  
"Awww, Liza! We toldja, goils can't be pirates! It jist don't woik like that!"   
  
Stamping her foot, she pouted; "Well, why not? I'se just as mean as you'se are, Spot Conlon, so lemme play too!"  
  
"Liza, we did letcha play. You're the - whaddya call 'em...the goil who I'se savin'."  
  
"But that's stoo-pid! I don't wanna be a goil, I wanna fight too!"   
  
Spot crossed his arms: " Liza, ya can't fight. We need ta save someone, don't we? 'Sides - you don't even got a pirate name!"   
  
Her pout grew at his words.   
  
"You're just mean, ya know that? Ya jist don't wanna lemme play!"   
  
Spot stepped forwards, already intimidating at 4 foot nothing.   
  
"An' what if I don't?"  
  
Liza's eyes narrowed, and the other two boys could sense a fight coming on. Acting quickly, Paul jumped between his two best friends.   
  
"Spot, quit it. Liza can play if she wants ta."  
  
Spot's only response was an icy glare. Sticking his tongue out at him, Paul put his arm around Eliza's shoulders.   
  
"So, Liza, if ya wanna be a pirate, ya gotta have a better name than plain ol' Liza, right?"  
  
She smiled up at him, already hinting at feelings that wouldn't hit completely until puberty.   
  
"Yeah."  
  
"How 'bout Pest? Brat? Nuisance?" Spot was obviously still angry. This time, however, his words crossed the line and Eliza's chin began to quiver with childlike sobs. Seeing her tears, he was instantly sorry. Paul glared at him; even Francis had taken notice at this point and was shaking his head at Spot.  
  
Underneath his man-like fa 


	6. Scène six

MON DIEU!!!!!! It's taken me foreeeeever to get this chapter out...it's not even finished yet, but I figured I should post what I have. ARGH! This story is really driving me crazy...well. Crazier than I am already :)  
  
** Shorty Carter ** thanks for the help with defeating the evil writer's block...unfortunately, it's stronger than we had originally guessed! AAAAAAAAHHHH!! *cowers* but don't worry...I will defeat it...mwahahahaha...anyway - thankie for the support as always! I hope you're feeling better! :)  
  
** Raven's Wing ** *hands muses the cookies, which they gobble down and start clamoring for more* ... oh dear. They're awfully demanding. Thank you tho, ma cherie, because baked goods are always appreciated. The pirate game was indeed a slightly different take on the same old story... I didn't really like it, personally, but my creativity was failing. Oh dear. Key really isn't the wooliest sheep in the flock - because Spot is mm mm good, to quote campbells'. Stupid kid. Oh well, she'll see the light eventually...I think... thanks for the reviews! :)  
  
** Vioshine ** they are being terribly selfish, aren't they? *glares disapprovingly at spot and lock, who do a terrible job of looking remorseful* stupid boys. I can't tell you that they learn to share any time soon, unfortunately though :( sowie. Anyway - I'll try to send them to manners school. Thanks for the review!   
  
** Dreamer ** yay you're back!!! But quit poking me, I'm terribly ticklish! *runs away* I'm glad you like my story *blushes* and thank you for the review! :)   
  
  
*********   
  
  
  
  
He had been on her mind all day. Key could see his eyes in her head, feel his arms around her. She could almost taste him. And yet she had avoided him since that fateful day in the alley, spending all her time instead with Lock. His obvious feelings for her, however, were not doing much to curb her guilt. Every time Key caught Lock looking at her, she felt shame gnawing at her stomach as she attempted to smile. Every time his hand brushed hers, she had to keep herself from flinching.   
  
He's not stupid. He's going to notice eventually.   
  
The bunkroom behind her was eerily silent, the cries of newsboys out in the streets explaining their absence. Spot, however, was notably missing from his perch on the docks.   
  
So now here she was, standing in front of his door trying to scrape up enough courage to knock. Her knuckled grazed the worn wood hesitantly. There was no response. Suddenly fearing that he was gone, that she had missed her chance, she rashly grasped the knob and threw the door open.   
  
Her eyes swept the room, coming to rest on the boy sitting at the window, his head in his hands. He hadn't looked up or even flinched when she came barging into the room, but his mere presence stopped Key in her tacks.   
  
The words that had been forming on her lips died as she looked at him. She couldn't manage any more than a choked whisper;   
  
"Spot..."  
  
Without looking up, he murmured,   
  
"Whaddya want, Key?"  
  
His words brought her back to that first day on the docks, a day that felit like years ago but had actually been little more than a week. Then, he had been her best friend, the menacing, pissed-off leader of Brooklyn.   
  
Now, she wasn't sure what he was. But his tone was defeated. He was a broken man. Pushing those thoughts aside, she attempted to concentrate on the task at hand.   
  
"Spot..." might as well jump in with both feet "Why did you kiss me?"  
  
He glanced up at her suddenly, his eyes seeming to devour her face. Sighing, he turned away.   
  
"I don't know."  
  
"You don't know?!" her eyes flashed with anger. "I'm your best friends' girl. You kissed me; I fucking cheated on him with you and you don't know why?!" her eyes seemed to shed sparks, she was suddenly so furious. "What kind of a bullshit answer is that? I know that you're a womanizer, Spot, but I didn't think that you'd do this to your best friend. To your best friends. He finally loves me and you just decide to step in one day and ruin it! I'm feeling so guilty that it's eating me up inside and you DON'T KNOW?!"  
  
As her voice reached a fever pitch, Spot sprang suddenly to life.   
  
"What did you want me to say? That I'm in love with you? That I've been in love with you for years but that I knew how you felt about Lock so I didn't say anything? That the guilt of what happened is killing me inside too, that the only thing that's keeping me going is the thought that I get to see you every day - even if it's seeing you in his arms?"   
  
His words were rushing out so fast that he seemed to have lost complete control of them.  
  
"Did you want me to tell you that when you kissed me back, I let myself hope in a way that I never have before?"   
  
He paused, his voice laced with faint hope.  
  
"I thought that you could...feel something. Maybe that you felt something."  
  
His eyes that had been searching her face dropped to the floor and he turned away, his shoulders drooped with defeat.  
  
"But seeing that look on your face, I guess I was wrong."  
  
The world seemed to slow down. The only sound that Key could hear was the beating of her heart. It filled her ears until everything around her seemed to disappear. Her heart was screaming, "You love him. Tell him you love him. Tell him that you love him back!" Her head, however - "What about Lock? He needs you. You need him. He's been your best friend for longer than Spot has. If you act now, you'll lose him forever. Walk away. Just walk away."  
  
But her heart won, and she took an involuntary step forward.   
  
"Spot, wait, I -" and as he turned, she couldn't hold herself back. She launched herself into his arms.   
  
She was so frenzied that she could barely find his mouth. Her kisses covered his entire face; his eyelids, his chin. He wrapped his arms around her, covering her mouth at last with his, and her body trembled with anguished happiness. Sweet release filled her as she pressed against him fiercely, his hands buried deep in her hair.   
  
They didn't stop to breathe for a long time.   
  
When they finally parted, her eyes were sparkling with tears as she gazed into his face.   
  
"I'm in love with you." she gasped, trying deliriously to catch her breath, "I love you. And I can't even pin point when it started because it fills me up inside. Loving you feels right. I -"  
  
A sudden commotion outside brutally interrupted her breathless confession. Spot strode over to the window and, after one quick glance, dashed out of the bunkroom with Key hot on his heels. Banging out of the lodging house doors, he pounded down the steps and reached the fight in three quick strides.   
  
Key was caught frozen on the front steps, where she surveyed the scene with horrified eyes.   
  
Grubbs lay on the ground, futiely trying to protect his face from the blows raining from above. His movements seemed dazed, however, and his brown eyes were vacant. There wasn't any fight left in him - if the other boy didn't stop soon...  
  
"Spot!" she cried out, hardly recongizing her voice tainted with fear - but Spot was already moving.   
  
He leapt into the fight and caught the attacker by the arm, showing surprising strength as he half-threw him across the square. The boy stumbled, tripping and rolling to land only a few feet away from Key.  
  
She recognized his blond locks immediately and rushed over to his immobile form. Kneeling down beside him, she watched, aghast, as his shoulders began to shake. She was too astonished to say anything. Lock doesn't cry. Lock doesn't almost kill people.  
  
"Key." Spot's voice startled her and she looked up. His eyes were solemn as he held out a tattered piece of paper to her. "It's Jake. There was a fire at the orphanage and - " he stopped, aware that his voice had gotten dangerously husky with sorrow.   
  
Jack was Lock's baby brother. He wasn't so much of a baby now at 8 years old - there were newsies years younger than he already at the lodging house. He had been bugging Lock for some time now to break him out of the orphanage and let him be a newsie, but Lock had refused.   
  
"I got enough to worry about without havin' to look out for my kid brother too. The nuns are nice to ya. Ya get enough to eat, they're teachin' ya to read. I'm not gonna take ya away from that to live in a lodgin' house that's freezin' in winter and hotter than hell in summer, where ya starve almost every day and sometimes don't even have a bed ta sleep in at night. Ya stayin' at the orphanage.   
  
But now...  
  
Key reached out to Lock, wrapping her arms around him with what little comfort she could give.   
  
"It wasn't supposed ta happen like this, Liza." Lock sobbed into her shirt, "He was supposed ta be safe."  
  
Without replying, she simply bowed her head, her tears staining his hair brown as they fell.   
  
  
  
  
***********  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: hopefully, the next chapter will be out sooner than this one...I dunno. Argh. As was previously mentioned, this story is driving me bonkers *goes bonkers* ... anyway - lemme know what you think as always, okay? This chapter was brought to you by my parents' record collection, which I can finally use because we set up our turntable! YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) twist and shout, anyone? 


	7. Scène finale

AH! I'm almost done! *heart attack* this is preeeetty crazy...anyway, TONS of love and wuv and supreme adoration go out to my wunderfful reviewers as always :) :  
  
Rhapsody - YAY! You're back! *shakes fist at system* stupid glitch...anyway - je t'aime, mon amie, et merci d'avoir ete si manifique! Awww I love old memories! *cue cats and luciano pavarotti* meeeeeeemory, all alooone in the moooooonligghhhtt..... thanks for the review kiddo! :)  
  
Oh nameless one - thank you for the review! Leave your name next time so that I can thank you properly! :)  
  
Vioshine - hahahahahhaa that's really funny because I was actually entertaining that idea myself! Lock walks in on his girlfriend making out with his best friend - OH NO! But then...well...he didn't. He was too busy beating up Grubbs. Poor boy :( um...of course Jake didn't die in the fire...umm...he's happy, now...in a better place. With the X-Men! Yes, that's it. He's with the X-Men. I could come up with a whole back story for that...but I think Marvel would sue me for being stupid :( oh well. I can't say that I get any less cruel in this chappie...I wanted SO badly to be nice! Anyway - let me know what you think, okay? Merci beaucoup beaucoup for the review! YAY! :)  
  
Dreamer - I *like* Key and Spot together - and I'm glad that someone else does too!!! Puddles are the only way to go, my dear. Happy puddles. Yes. They're the best kind :) I'M SORRY!!! I really do love my reviewers...that's why there must be a sequel. I'm not cruel, I swear...okay, mebbe just a lil bit. But it hurts me JUST as much as it hurts you guys. I just didn't want this to turn into another "Sealed with a Kiss" and have it be painfully sappy. I'm sorry *puppy dog eyes* forgive me? Pwease? Thanks for the review!! :)  
  
Raven's Wing - She SHOULD break Lock's heart, dammit! ... people don't always do what they should. :( Thank you for the review!!! :)  
  
Raeghann - I KNOW that this took me forever! ACK! I'm sorry!!! But oui oui it's up and I'm updating rather soon afterwards - aren't you proud of me :) I'm so flattered that you loved that chapter! *blushes* AH! I like it too - well, the middle bit. The bit with all the love :) lol wow I'm so predictable. Hopeless Romantics R Us. Thank you for the review and the praise! YAY! ... now stop being so cruel to cameo and spot and MAKE IT ALL BETTER!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
Hold on to your hats, kiddies...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Closing the door softly behind her, Key rested her head against the cool wood and sighed. Lock had finally fallen into a fitful sleep in the sickroom. He was blaming himself for Jake's death and was so repentant about what had happened with Grubbs that her heart broke to see him. He had rambled on for hours about neglecting his responsibility, punctuated with fits of wild sobbing and self-hatred.   
  
And despite it all, it was only beginning to kick in.   
  
Jake was dead.  
  
...Will he ever be able to get over this?  
  
A husky voice startled her out of her thoughts.  
  
"Key." Spot moved out of the shadow of the bunks. Standing in the moonlight, he looked exceptionally noble, even with eyes red from tears shed in secret. He moved over to the window and gestured to the fire escape,  
  
"Come up on the roof with me?"  
  
Glancing at the slumbering forms of the others, she nodded.   
  
Neither spoke as they climbed the fire escape to the roof. Even the very night seemed to mourn for their loss; the normally noisy streets of Brooklyn were eerily silent.   
  
They reached the rough stones of the roof and stood side by side surveying the street below. Then, Key couldn't hold it in any more. She threw herself at Spot, covering his mouth with hers violently. He barely kissed her back before pulling away. His eyes were a confused grey as they stared into hers, but she cut him off before he could speak.  
  
"Please, Spot. I just need to feel something other than this."  
  
Her lips tempted him terribly, but he somehow managed to move away.  
  
"I can't let you do something that you'll regret."  
  
Her eyes widened and she tried to make him look at her.  
  
"Spot, I wouldn't regret it. I could never regret this."  
  
Her voice was so earnest that it broke his heart to push her gently away.  
  
"Everything is different now." He placed his hands palm down on the rough brick of the wall, trying to find the strength for what he needed to say. "Lock is downstairs, and he's hurting. And...and I think that you should be with him."  
  
He tried not to hear the quick intake of breath that indicated tears soon to come.   
  
Sure enough, when her voice broke the silence it was low and salty-wet with sadness.   
  
"But I want to be with you."  
  
He could tell from the way that she spoke that her heart was already cracking. He hadn't known that he held it until mere hours before, and now he was destroying it of his own will.  
  
"Key, don't you see that that can't happen?" There were tears pricking at the backs of his eyelids, but he forced himself to concentrate. If he wasn't strong now...it would be so easy to just drown in her. To forget his responsibilities to Brooklyn, to Lock...to her.  
  
"Lock needs you. Now more than ever. With - with Jake gone, you're all he's got left." His voice was dangerously close to cracking but he ploughed forward somehow, "I can't take you away from him."  
  
When he finally met her eyes, he tried to hold himself back. She looked so lost and every inch of his soul was screaming at him to hold her. But now there could be no turning back.  
  
"I want you to go to him. Forget me. I'm...I'm nothing."  
  
"You're trembling." The pain in her voice cemented the splinters in his heart. "Look at yourself - you're trembling! I don't believe you, Spot." Her voice broke as tears began to pour down her face, "You don't want me to leave. I don't want to leave you."  
  
He turned away as she reached for him, knowing that she would see the truth in his eyes. She managed to grasp his arm, however, and pulled him to her.  
  
"Look at me. Look at me!" He raised his eyes to hers, and she could finally see his heart laid bare in their blue-grey depths.  
  
"You're not nothing, Spot. You're my everything." Her lips reached up towards him, her words ensnaring him, pulling him closer...but he managed to pull away yet again, gathering the shards of his heart to him.   
  
"Key, we can't do this." He whispered once more, and he could tell by the way that she stiffened against him that she understood.  
  
Understanding isn't the same as accepting, however, and so she couldn't stop the words that tumbled out of her lips;  
  
"I'm in love with you. I meant it when I said it. I meant it with all of my heart! And now you're going to walk away from this? From me? Spot...I love you."  
  
His fingers brushed gently across her cheek, stopping the flow of words.  
  
"I love you too," he murmured, "But so does Lock. And I can be strong. I can try to live without you. I don't know if he can."  
  
She nodded mutely, her spirit finally broken by the truth of his words.   
  
"So go to him." His voice trembled and he gripped the brick wall as if trying to anchor himself there. After a never-ending pause of hesitation, she turned, and walked slowly back towards the fire escape.   
  
His voice splintered the silence suddenly , and he spoke without looking at her.  
  
"Key?"  
  
"Yeah?" she whispered, afraid of what would happen if she spoke any louder.  
  
"If you're ever let go...I think I'll be waiting."  
  
His softly spoken words hit her like a thunderbolt, and her eyes overflowed again.   
  
"I love you." she slipped something over her head and hung it over the topmost rung of the fire escape. And with that, she was gone.  
  
"I love you." His words hung in the air for an eternity. When he couldn't restrain himself any longer, he walked over to the fire escape just in time to see her head disappearing in through the window.   
  
Something glittered in the moonlight, and he picked it up in wonderment. As the cool metal pressed against his fingers, he smiled a smile that was one part grateful recognition, one part bitter regret.  
  
  
  
******  
  
  
  
  
Somehow, she made it back into the sickroom before letting the glorious sobs overcome her body. As she collapsed by the window, she tried to stifle the sounds of her pain.   
  
A pair of eyes watched her silently from the bed.  
  
Maybe he wasn't as oblivious as they thought.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: To continue or not to continue? ... that is the question. 


	8. La fin ou peutêtre ça commence encore?

AN: I can't believe how long this took to get up here ... gawrsh! Thank you all for reviewing ... and please don't kill me!!! *cowers*  
  
  
  
  
Raeghann - first and foremost, I must bow down to you for having written the most gorgeous ending to a story ever. *bows* you're a goddess, seriously. But ah - I tried and tried with this one, but somehow the words wouldn't come! ACK! So I'm gonna hafta make it up to you in the sequel ... I'm sorry darlin'. Thank you so so so so so so much for the support and the advice tho - you rock, just in case I don't tell you thank enough! Je t'aime! Merci mille fois!  
  
Stardust Dreamer - JINKIES indeed! Heehehee I love that word! Oui, je suis completement d'accord avec vous - key can't stay with lock out of pity. At least, not forever *hint*hint* I feel terrible about half-abandoning this like I am, but I really have no choice ... passing high school is kind of necessary, don't you think? So I hope that you come back for the sequel, okay? Merci mille fois! You rooooooock! *out jumps the cast of fraggle rock and they start to groove* ... wow, where do I get these things??? ...  
  
Angelic One- awwwwwwwwwwwww thank you! that was such a sweet review, thanks for taking the time to leave one! Yay! ... please don't hate me for this chapter tho. THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL, I promise! :) merci beaucoup.  
  
Raven's Wing - Ah, I love getting reviews from you 'cause they're always so helpful! Yeah, that leadership line did do what I needed it to, I agree. About the angst however - it does sort of end there... I had originally planned for this to be completely angsty, but then I got carried away with the romance, being the flighty girl that I am... *blushes* mais bien - heehehee crispy jake is a bad thought indeed... but entertaining nonetheless. Thanks SO much for reviewing, and for your suggestions! :)  
  
Serina - spotty boy breaks my heart too! Your suggestions actually fit almost directly into what I had planned... not to give anything away, tho. I really wanna just have lock disappear into thin air or something... it would make everything so much easier, don't you think? LONG REVIEWS ARE THE GREATEST! You should see some of mine...really, I don't know why anyone talks to me! Lol ... mais bien. Thank you SO much for reviewing and come read the sequel, okay? There will be lots of love, I promise! :)   
  
Ice - yay! I love that you love it! I will continue this... in time... :) thank you so much for reviewing, it really means a lot to me! :)  
  
Rhapsody - HEY! Oh, so you think I should continue? 'cause really, I wasn't sure from those four exuberantly typed "CONTINUE!"s. Are you sure?? *grin* lol sorry I'm feeling comedic today. Of course, I'm failing at being comedic, but at least I tried, right? ... oh dear. ANYWAY - AH I LOVE YOUR STORY SO MUCH UPDATE SOON, okay? ... look see, I can be exuberant too! Yes!!!!!!! ... I hope you don't hate me for the way that I deal with said tough situation. Just remember, there is a sequel coming...don't kill me... *pout* anyway - je t'aime, mon amie, et merci mille fois pour votre support! It means the world to me! YAY! :)   
  
Dreamer - yeah, you know what? I was actually thinking about having Key do it, but I didn't for exactly that reason. It just made more sense to the rest of what I have planned if Spot broke it off... made me hurt to write it tho. I wanted everything to be sunshine and roses! *sniff* oh dear... anyway - oh you're so getting a cameo! I'm so excited now! I certainly hope that you were serious, because I really am. You're gonna be in the sequel (bwahahhaa now she has to come back and read it! Way to go ali! Good job...). Thank you SO much for the praise and your support... I appreciate it so much *huggles dreamer* je t'aime, mon amie!   
  
GG - oui, Spotty boy is one noble lad :) thanks for reviewing! Yay! :)  
  
Crunch - AH! It's my favourite person! Yay! Holy spaghetti (hey, I had to get the pasta in here somewhere! lol), she liked it! She really, really liked it! *bursts into tears of gratitude* christ on a cracker, I'm relieved. Anyway - heehehee laziness is only goodness when you're a fully certified genius. Which you, mon amie, are. So THERE! Mais bien - update your story dammit! And come back and read the sequel to this (if I ever get it written ... heh, heh... *edges away from irate reviewers*)! Ciao, bella. Oh look at the multicultural-ness! :) je t'aime, et merci mille fois!  
  
  
*whew* ! now that that's over and done with... on to the story! and remember - I love each and every one of you, so please don't maim me? Please??   
  
  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The nicotine burned his lungs comfortingly as he regarded his cards. The house was alive with people, sprawled across the bunks and the floor without even attempting to be civilized. There was a girl seated to the left of him and her roaming hands were beginning to distract him ... and then he heard it.   
  
  
A peal of laughter, floating across the drunken revelers, caught his attention and he stiffened. As his head rose almost of its own accord, his eyes sought out her familiar green eyed gaze. Alighting upon their destination, there was still a pang of regret that flashed through his system.   
  
  
His arm was around her, and he chuckled as she whispered in his ear, her eyes alight with mirth. As Lock concentrated again on the dice Carver was offering him, Key sensed that she was being watched. Her eyes finally caught his and a wave of emotions threatened to drown him as the corners of her mouth lifted in greeting. Her eyes seemed to speak volumes of what they couldn't say - yet her fingers were still intertwined with Locks'. Memories of his recent heartbreak came rushing back and he fought for air  
  
  
...until the cold metal of the key around his neck banged against his chest, startling him.   
  
  
  
He holds her hand, but I hold the key to her heart.  
  
  
  
He returned her smile and then averted his gaze.  
  
  
I'm not allowed to read her eyes any more.   
  
  
So instead he just clasped the key in his free hand and returned to the game.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Because for now, that had to be enough.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: I'm sorryyyyyyy!!!!! Believe me, I didn't want it to end like that any more than you did ... which is why I've already started planning the sequel to this. I just figured that you'd rather me finish it (sort of) than leave you hanging for the 6 billion years that it's gonna take me to get through exams ... *shudder* GOD I hate school! ACK! ... but that's a whole other issue. So yeah, the point of this last little note is to :  
  
a) assure you that there will be more, I'm not ending it like this, so please put away your various torture devices! AH! *cowers* there will be more love, I promise - c'mon, this is me here. Madame Hopeless Romantic? Yeah. So don't worry. And don't kill me. *attempted charming grin... key word - "attempted"*  
  
b) to say THANK YOU times the biggest number you can think of to each and every person who ever even considered reviewing this. I LOVE YOU ALL! *tear* it just means so much when *sniff* people like your writing and *sob* you guys mean to much to me! ... okay, all stupid cornyness aside, I really do adore you guys. So *kisses* for everyone and I'll see you in the sequel!   
  
:) :) Je vous aime tous! :) :) 


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